Today we are going to talk about exactly what to do if your ex boyfriend blocked you.
Yes, that includes being blocked via text message, Facebook, Instagram, WhatsApp, Snapchat or any other relevant conversation portal you may have with your ex.
In fact, if you read this article in it’s entirety you’ll learn,
- Why your ex blocks you
- What to do to get unblocked
- The importance social media plays (even if you’ve been blocked.)
But first, I have to say that I have some good news and some bad news.
Good News and Bad News
Which would you like to hear first?
The good news or the bad news?
I’ll just tell you the bad news.
The Bad News = If you are in a situation where you’ve been blocked there isn’t a lot of direct things you can do to get your ex to unblock you.
Well, it’s not all bad I promise.
Here’s the good news.
The Good News = Even though there isn’t a lot to do to improve your situation our independent research into our clients has suggested that more than 70% of exes who have been blocked will get unblocked or have a conversation sometime in the future.
Now, with that in mind I’d like to quickly switch gears and talk a little about what I consider to be the most important factor for getting “unblocked” by an ex.
The Most Important Factor For An Ex To “Unblock” You?
I’m sure people reading this article are going to be split on what I’m about to say but before I say it I do want to point out that I have a lot of data. If you didn’t already know, on top of being the founder of this website I’ve also founded two sister websites.
Ex Boyfriend Recovery
Ex Girlfriend Recovery
To date the two websites have generated over 20 million hits and I have been blessed to have over 10,000 customers buy my products.
Just alone, in our Ex Recovery Program Private Facebook Group we have close to 3,500 members.
What’s really cool about having all this data is that we get to deal directly with a lot of different situations.
However, another huge situation we encounter are those individuals who have been blocked by their exes and don’t know what to do next and what we learned about that might actually shock you.
There is without a doubt one factor that makes the most difference when it comes to “getting an ex to unblock you” and that’s time.
It’s weird, right?
Who knew the secret of getting unblocked was simply waiting and doing nothing.
Well, actually doing nothing isn’t exactly true.
There are very specific actions we recommend our clients take during this “waiting period”.
But I’m getting ahead of myself.
I want to start from the top and pretend you were a new client of mine and literally advise you on how I would approach a “being blocked” situation.
Step One: Determine The Extent of “The Block”
Believe it or not but there are actually two types of extents of being blocked.
In fact, I talk about this a lot in one of my videos on my YouTube Channel,
There are two types of methods an ex will block you with.
- The Soft Block
- The Hard Block
So, what does a soft block or a hard block look like?
I’m glad you asked.
What Is A Soft Block?
Let’s say that you and your ex boyfriend talked primarily through three methods of communication.
- Text message
- Facebook messenger
- Instagram DM’s
A soft block simply means that he has blocked you on one or two of the three methods of communications. In other words, you technically still have a way of talking to him even if that way isn’t ideal.
What Is A Hard Block?
A hard block is the exact opposite of a soft block.
Let’s use our example of having three primary methods of communication with your ex above. A hard block would mean your ex has blocked you everywhere. In other words, you have no way of contacting him.
For many women this is the worst case scenario.
And it’s this worst case scenario that I’d like to take and show you how to navigate.
So, from this point on let’s assume you are in a hard block situation.
What do you do?
Step Two: Create Mystery On Social Media
Here are a few things I bet you didn’t know.
- 88 percent of exes will “facebook stalk” you.
- According to research from Brandon Gaille the percentage of people who will use a mutual friends profile to check on a former intimate partner is 70%
Those two statistics alone are staggering.
Particularly that second one but before I open up about that I want you to get one thing through your head.
The statistics say there is a 90% chance that your ex will check on your Facebook profile at some point in the future and this is something we have definitely seen in our coaching efforts but something that has even shocked me is the amount of people using mutual friends profiles to spy on you.
This is particularly relevant here if your ex has blocked you.
Because it proves to you that even if you’ve been blocked there is still a huge probability that your ex is very interested in what you are up to.
This is a big fear that most people who have been blocked have is that their ex isn’t paying attention to them and these statistics certainly prove that wrong.
Therefore, the goal you should always have on social media is to tell a story, your story.
Exes have certain preconceived notions about you after a breakup and it’s up to you to change those preconceived notions.
Introducing The Five Category Method
I’d like to introduce you to what I like to call the five category method.
You see, I’ve been doing this for almost a decade and what’s fascinating is that every time I try to explain to my clients that they need to use social media to their advantage after a breakup they end up taking this the wrong way.
Usually that means they post things that are direct jabs at their ex or they post obnoxious things.
I’ll give you an example.
Posting something like this to your Facebook is NOT ok.
So, what are some of the things that are ok to post?
A lot of people don’t realize this but I spent the better part of my 2019 writing a book called Ungettable.
I’m not going to give you the in-depth details behind it all but it’s essentially all about empowering women so they stop placing men on pedestals they don’t deserve to be on. You see, over my decade of teaching women I’ve noticed that there is a clear distinction between the women who are successful and the women who aren’t.
I call these successful women ungettable because they essentially create this vibe that every man wants them but no man can get them.
Over the years I began to notice that they exhibit twelve very specific patterns that set them apart.
- The Daydream Quality
- The Popularity Quality
- The Confidence Quality
- The Intelligence Quality
- The Leave You Wanting More Quality
- The Out Of Your League Quality
- The Always Busy Quality
- The Playful Quality
- The Sexy Quality
- The Nurture Quality
- The Mystery Quality
- The Stability Quality
The goal if you have been blocked should always be to post things on your social media accounts that highlight these twelve qualities but you need to do that in a very specific way. That’s where my five category strategy comes into play.
You see, as a human being you are much more than “just an ex girlfriend.”
It will look extremely odd if every post you ever post is meant to look like you are showing off.
That’s where the five category method comes into play.
Above I just cited twelve “ungettable qualities” that most men idealize.
On social media you should aim to choose five of the ungettable qualities and seek to post things that highlight that certain aspect about yourself on a day by day basis.
I’ll give you an example.
Let’s say that looking over the list above you decide that you want to show your ex that you are,
- Always Busy
This of course means you need to post things that will make you look that way.
Here are a few ideas off the top of my head using Facebook as an example.
- Popularity = Posting something that gets a lot of comments, shares and likes on Facebook.
- Playful = Some type of picture you take that has you doing something funny or out of the ordinary.
- Mysterious = Post a picture of yourself doing something no one would expect you to do
- Intelligent – Post something that teaches people something they don’t know
- Always Busy – Post a picture out with your friends.
Of course, this is where things get interesting.
Each day you need to be posting only one of these posts. You do this until you get through all five and then you rinse and repeat.
Here’s a graphic explaining this concept more visually.
The key is that you aren’t always posting the same stuff over and over again and if you want to get really creative you can actually pick new ungettable qualities to switch out with your original five.
Step Three: Shift Your Mindset To “Long Term Results”
I hate to be the one to give you a huge dose of reality but I’d rather be up front with you than lead you to believe that “getting an ex back” is easy.
In fact, one look at recent statistics shows you that the odds are against you. In fact, when you look at our history of working with coaching clients we estimate that it will take you anywhere from three to nine months to be successful.
It can take three to nine months to see success
And even then there are no guarantees.
Most people don’t think twice when I tell this to them. It’s only after they’ve gone in the trenches and experienced the hardship for themselves that they start to have second thoughts.
I blame their mentality.
I’ve said this so many times that I feel like I’m being derivative but maybe that’s ok because I feel this is an important point to get across.
We live in this day and age where everyone always expect instant results.
Look at the history of cell phones.
At first it was pagers, then it was flip phones and now we have smartphones.
(Oh, and who can forget about the blackberry phase.)
Each advance in technological innovation has also been accompanied with an upgrade in speed.
I can’t tell you how often I used to go on vacation with my family when I was a kid and my dad would be constantly frustrated at my mom because she wasn’t reading the map correctly. Now all you need to do is plug in your phone, chart your course and it tells you exactly where you need to go.
We’ve grown spoiled with speed, so much so that if businesses are slow to adopt new practices they fall behind.
But it just so happens that “getting an ex back” is one of those things in life that speed can’t help. In fact, I’d argue that speed can be detrimental to your success.
My most hated YouTube is this,
Not only is it poorly produced but it’s taking a decent strategy and trying to fast track it.
The problem is that “getting an ex back” is not supposed to be fast tracked.
I think it’s time that we experience a paradigm shift in our thinking. Instead of thinking, how can I get my ex to unblock me as fast as possible.
Maybe we need to reframe the question as,
What Can I Do With My Time Until My Ex Unblocks Me?
There’s a very big reason for success from my clients and it has nothing to do with me.
It’s all about their temperament.
Some people are undisciplined and impatient.
How well do you think they fare?
Others are disciplined and patient.
I’ll let you figure out which one we prefer as clients.
Step Four: Text Them From A New Number (RISKY)
In 1975 Dallas Cowboys Quarterback Roger Staubach knew he needed a miracle to beat the vikings. He called a quick pass play, said a hail mary in the huddle and went on to deliver one of the most iconic NFL moments of all time.
Hence the name “Hail Mary Pass” was born.
In Football it’s essentially a last ditch effort to win you the game when your odds of winning are so low you have no other choice.
I tell you that story not to impress you with my Football knowledge but to explain to you how I view this tactic I’m about to tell you about.
Texting your ex from a new number in and of itself is nuts. In most cases you should never do it.
Of course, I know that no matter how informative I make this article there will always be women out there who ask me the most annoying question ever.
“Well yes Chris… this all sounds very interesting but I can’t just expect my ex to unblock me and reach out to me. If he never does that what do I do?”
First off, in most cases your ex will unblock you on his own and you won’t really have to do anything.
But for those of you who aren’t big on faith I give you one last hail mary attempt.
The Key To This Strategy
Before I explain the key to making this work (hint: it’s all about perception) I want the record to show that you should only do this if you have no other choice.
Also, if you have no problem ditching your phone number which is something that 99% of you should have a problem with.
I’m all about female empowerment so I naturally hate this strategy but theoretically it will allow you to have a conversation with your ex.
The problem is that if you come off as creepy you’ll get blocked immediately.
Therefore, it’s only natural for there to be pre-requisites you must first “check off” before you can employ the actual strategy.
- You must have completed a no contact rule
- You must have used your time wisely during that no contact rule
- Six months must have gone by
If you can check those three requirements off I introduce you to the one way you can have a conversation with an ex who has blocked you.
Group Text Your Ex From A New Number
One day you happen to be at the grocery store and you get a phone call.
You frantically fumble for your phone and somehow accidentally drop it and it shatters.
What are you supposed to do next?
Well, it’s time to get a new phone but there’s one problem, there’s a special new deal on if you get a new number.
Somehow it will lower you bill enough for you to change your number.
So you pull the trigger.
But then there is that pesky problem of informing all of your contacts that you have a new number.
Oh wait…. we can just group text them.
Maybe something like this will do?
Obviously your exes number will be in that group text.
Here’s where things get tough.
You need to be extremely patient and do nothing for a few weeks.
You see, this whole situation was orchestrated to look legitimate and having you send out a “hey here’s my new number” group text one day only to talk to your ex directly the next day might set off a few red flags.
No, the timing matters here and that means putting some space between you and that group text.
After a few weeks go by that’s when you reach out with a strong first contact text message found here.
Summary Of The Article
- In most cases your ex will unblock you unprompted
- It’s important for you to be active while your ex has blocked you
- Adopt a long term view instead of a short term one
- Only use the Hail Mary strategy when you are absolutely forced to