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This article contains the complete start to finish checklist for how you give yourself the very best chance of making your ex boyfriend jealous.
There’s no use drawing this out any longer so let’s just get started.
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What Women Fail To Realize About Making Their Ex Boyfriends Jealous
I’ve been doing this for close to a decade and I’ve noticed that jealousy is a little like opening pandoras box.
Every woman wants nothing more than to make their exes jealous but sometimes they go too far and do things that can’t be taken back.
Now, I’ve talked a lot about jealousy in the past,
And no matter how I try to preach to women that they need to be careful when using it on their exes I get this sense that women revere jealousy as this magic bullet that will solve all of their ex boyfriend problems.
They often scour the internet for the best text messages to send to their exes that will make them jealous but more often than not I’ve found these to backfire and I have had to learn the hard way.
If you’re not familiar with my story, I basically founded two large websites helping men and women through breakups called Ex Boyfriend Recovery and Ex Girlfriend Recovery. But my advice has evolved over the years as I’ve learned better what works and what doesn’t work.
Now, I’m not saying that sending a jealousy text won’t work on your ex, on the contrary, it can work extremely well.
What I’d like to warn you with on jealousy is that it tends to get out of hand very quickly.
It’s almost like a forest fire. At first you think it’ll be easy to contain but upon realization that it’s gotten out of control you don’t know how to stop it.
This leads us to the first real question that we need to answer.
What Is Your Goal With Jealousy?
Not all women who read this article are going to be created equal with their goals.
Some want to make their exes jealous out of spite.
Others will want to make their exes jealous so they get attention.
For the purposes of this article I am going to be operating under the assumption that you want to make your ex jealous because you want them to come back to you.
Therefore, every piece of advice I am going to give you will be to that end.
And really it all boils down to making your ex jealous in a healthy way if that’s even possible.
This is why I’m very into the “show don’t tell” approach.
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What Is The Show Don’t Tell Approach?
I’m an aspiring writer.
Yes, I know technically I am a “writer” of breakup material already but whenever I’m not working I’m spending time with my family and whenever I’m not doing that I’m spending time with one purpose in mind.
I want to write a fantasy book.
It’s a weird dream but hear me out.
The thing you may not know about storytellers is that in a way they are philosophers. Every time someone weaves a tale they are trying to teach you about life or some greater philosophy they have about the world.
Sometimes we don’t like those life lessons or philosophical statements but the end goal is almost always the same.
Writers want to create a piece of art that resonates
What does any of this have to do with exes or jealousy?
Well, their is a classic piece of writing advice that beginners are given that I have found to have real life applications to jealousy.
Show don’t tell!
Here’s a breakdown of what that means in case you are confused.
Essentially while telling an audience what is happening can resonate it won’t be as powerful if you simply show them and allow them to work out the consequences for themselves. I believe Pixar legend Andrew Stanton says this brilliantly in his ted talk here.
Stanton makes the case that the audience of a movie wants to work for their meal.
So, instead of simply telling them what will happen in its movies Pixar will give the audience breadcrumbs to allow them to work out whats happening for themselves. He calls this the 2+ 2 approach.
We’ve all had those moments in the movies where we turn to our friend in the middle of an action scene because we think we know what’s going to happen next.
This is the 2+2 effect at work.
In other words, showing is almost always more powerful than telling.
How Does The Show Don’t Tell Approach Work With Jealousy And Exes?
Most people tend to use jealousy in this extremely direct way.
For example, they’ll send some backhanded text like this to their ex with the pure intent to make them jealous.
This often backfires because its too direct and it makes them so angry they lose respect for you.
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What is kind of amazing about our findings over the past decade is how little it takes to make an ex boyfriend jealous. I’m serious when I say that it doesn’t really take much and as long as you stick to the show don’t tell approach you can make them jealous in a way where you have the moral high ground.
This moral high ground concept is the key to the whole thing in my opinion.
Consider the text message example above.
Not only is it extremely direct but in a way it’s rude. It has that “rub it in their face” effect and gives your ex the moral high ground.
“Look what a bi*ch she’s being” he’ll think to himself.
The key is to prevent interactions like that by showing your ex that you are a hot commodity among other men without being direct at all.
Of course, doing that takes a bit of work on your part.
The Holy Grail Of Show Don’t Tell Jealousy
So, what makes me the expert on jealousy that I claim to be. Truthfully, I’m not an expert. I’ve just been in the trenches so long that I’ve seen what actually works.
Now, I know I talk about this a lot but anyone who buys my program gets access to my private facebook support group.
I can’t tell you how valuable that group has been for not only our success rate but for our research. We are literally able to see what is working and not working in the real world. To me, its our secret weapon. Something that we can bring to the table that no one else really can.
Because here’s the hard truth.
No one wants to help you if your trying to get an ex back.
No psychological studies have been conducted.
Your family often isn’t on board.
Your friends will get annoyed for you even mentioning “wanting them back.”
In this odd way you are on this island and this was something I recognized way back in 2013 when my business started taking off. I took it upon myself to conduct the research for you by myself.
I wanted to see what worked and what didn’t work. This is why I’m constantly doing success story interviews like this one.
The truth is that sometimes I’m absolutely blown away by some of our findings. This is why I’m such a believer in the show don’t tell method of jealousy. I’ve seen countless times that it doesn’t take much to make an ex jealous and it’s actually incredibly easy to overdo it.
In all, we’ve found there are really three things you should be focusing on when you try to make an ex jealous.
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- Social Media Posts
- Social Media Comments
I call this the holy grail of jealousy.
If you aren’t familiar with my love of the “holy grail” catchphrase I recommend you read this article.
The Importance Of The Right Type Of Social Media Posts
As I’ve stated above, the introduction of our private facebook group has been a revelation. Not only is it amazing to see thousands of individuals help each other through arguably one of the most chaotic times in a life but we’ve learned a lot.
A few years ago, I was in the middle of a coaching session with someone from that very Facebook Group when they told me a story that resonated. They had taken my advice to go on a date with someone new during the no contact rule and they happened to take a picture of their meal.
It’s important to mention that there was no attempt of jealousy at all. This was all an authentic action by my client.
She just happened to really be into taking pictures of her food for her instagram.
Anyways, when she took the picture her dates arm elbow happened to be in the frame which may not seem like a big deal but later when she posted it to Instagram her ex boyfriend happened to think it was a big deal.
He essentially blew up her phone demanding who she was on a date with.
So, after hearing this story for my client I asked her if I could start recommending it to my other clients to see if it would be effective.
To say it worked is an understatement.
Within the Ex Recovery Program group hundreds of women have added their “successful jealousy photos” to an album.
It’s kind of amazing if you think about it.
Hundreds of photos that have made exes jealous that YOU can use since our clients have volunteered their success for you.
The Importance Of The Right Types Of Social Media Comments
We live in the age of digital personas.
One of my favorite philosophies/psychologies is that of Carl Jung.
You see, he believed that each of us has a persona, a fake self that we prop up to the world. The idea here is simple, we act in ways that society would deem as acceptable. For me, social media has brought this concept to the forefront in ways Jung would never have even dreamed of.
We live in the age of fake selves.
Always posting photos when we think we look best.
It’s a digital persona and often times I find the women I work with struggle with keeping this persona up when they have to have an organic conversation with a man.
So, this article is all about jealousy within exes but what if I were to tell you that what you post on social media and the comments you get from other men play a huge role into this.
Seems pretty standard, right?
After all, you know you’re doing social media right if other men start commenting on your stuff.
But there’s a flaw with this line of thinking.
The flaw is that it’s inauthentic.
It shouldn’t shock you that I’m a huge fan of using social media to create jealousy.
It’s indirect and as long as you do it right you’ll have other men working for you to create passive jealousy.
The problem is that if your digital persona doesn’t match up with how you really feel you actually won’t get the result that you want. I’ve made it no secret that I love interviewing my success stories,
And if I’ve learned one thing from interviewing a lot of different people it’s that the most successful strategy for getting an ex back is to simply not care about getting them back.
Odd, isn’t it?
I actually got so obsessed with this concept I made a whole video about it.
Here’s my main point with the social media comments aspect of this. Only post things on social media where you’re in a positive and happy headspace.
Don’t try to fake it.
Become it!
The comments from others guys will flow in and your ex will grow jealous.
Trust me.
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